piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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