toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
