remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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