my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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