Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
