life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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