I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
