brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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