so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
