So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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