Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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