even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why are your pants in the freezer?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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