It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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