Dual....:-)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
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Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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