Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
