Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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