hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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