Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
