I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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