my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize