i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
birth control should be required to get into college
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
