how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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