hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
