we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
