"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
