worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
