I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
