Sry I called you an 8
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
