i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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