Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
