You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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