I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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