the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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