gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
