Don't you send me to vm
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
