Someone shit on the floor
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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