Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize