Me too!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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