recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
