Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
