You're my little dorito
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
