just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
