they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
