Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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