i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm getting married
To pizza
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
