I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
