This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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