his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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