my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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