i think i have herpe
just one?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
