I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
