Having a random hookup so left but love u
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
