I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Randomize
