I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
