Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize