office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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