Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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