pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
