I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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